lol im such an idiot!!!! my body is so dumb

im such an embarrassment

me: hey you're pretty cute
them: i'm straight
me: accept the fucking compliment breeder

i bought 2 dresses, a dress shirt, 2 pairs of shoes, and a bunch of accessories today and i feel very nice abt myself and for once i am excited to dress up

me and bae having sex
bae: mmm yeah fuck me baby
me: put a quarter in the swear jar

lol @ this inconsiderate american. not fuckin cool man